Having children is a wonderful experience that you and your partner share together. At times, parenting is tiring and even a little frustrating, yet any parent will say the same: that they wouldn’t change a thing. It’s normal when you have children to feel that your relationship with your partner somewhat changes. Both of your focuses will shift towards your children as they become the priority. This is natural, but it doesn’t mean that romance has to stop between your partner and you.
To help keep the romance alive in your life, try the following tips that the Matchstick Monkey Team has found helpful with having young children and being parents.
Purposeful Intention Towards Each Other
Parenting young children can make spontaneity practically impossible. If you and your partner would have once enjoyed spontaneous trips out to restaurants, unplanned surprises and off-the-cuff fun, you might find that you are missing that element of your relationship now that you have young children.
We’re here to tell you that you can still have fun with your partner by using ‘purposeful intention’. Purposeful Intention allows you and your partner to create positive interactions with each other. It’s easy to bicker and move in parallel when you are tired and trying to juggle young parenthood. For this reason, you should take the time to plan the good experiences that connect you. This can take some getting used to, but it is a vital step to keeping your romance alive. For example, expressing your desires in advance, such as: ‘I’d like to go for dinner and spend time with just us. Shall we get a babysitter for this Saturday night?’ or, ‘I’d like some time alone with you tonight, what do you think?’ Purposefully stating an intention will help you to work in desired romantic experiences between your parenting and work responsibilities.
Do Things Without Your Children
Many new parents feel guilty about wanting to do things without their children. When really, it’s quite alright to want some time away every now and then. It is natural to desire time with your partner where the focus can be on the pair of you and your relationship. Activities to do without your children could include, going for a walk in the park, working out, making a dynamic breakfast, having a date night or you can make it any activity that you used to do together before having children that you don’t seem to find time for anymore.
Just as you should have purposeful intentions towards each other, you should have a forgiving attitude towards yourself; it is not a bad thing to want to do things without your children. This time apart will help you reconnect with the love you feel for your partner and the love you felt before your children came along.
Most importantly, keeping your romance alive is also about accepting that your life is different now. That’s okay. It’s more than okay, it’s great! You had the time together before your babies came along, to form the foundations that allow you to be great parents. Your relationship isn’t worse because you are having fewer date nights and less intimacy; you have more responsibilities now, and your relationship is evolving to accommodate the new source of joy you feel towards your role as a parent. If you accept it together, you will recognise that your love for each other is as strong as ever before.
To keep the romance alive try using Purposeful Intention and follow through on planned time together, without your children, to do the activities that you enjoy.
Related Blog: Date Night Ideas For New Parents